Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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