i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
