Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
