I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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