OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
