i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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