Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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