Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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