My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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