Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
