Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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