Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
