i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
