I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i want to swaddle you in tequila
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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