did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize