I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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