I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
