pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
