Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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