literally had 100 drinks last night.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize