cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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