I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
