UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
