is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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