dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
