fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
