Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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