9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
