Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
