I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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