you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
