Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
