She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
