so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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