I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize