if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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