I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize