is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
