Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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