just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
