i jhust puked up my retainher.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
BRING THE BAGELS
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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