dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
