oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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