Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
