Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
