Don't you send me to vm
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
