If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
