I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize