Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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