That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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