is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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