And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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