ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
