I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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