In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
