why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
