woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
